If you’ve ever watched Media 7, you’ll be used to the familiar voices / presenters. But what you won’t be used to is the self puffery from ad executives and creatives.

…oh wait.

But nevertheless, it’s great to see a TV show dedicated to the wonderful, if somewhat self congratulatory world of advertising. Featuring everyone from jingle writers and the creatives behind the ‘Thirst is creepy’ campaign… Right through to the voices behind the Magness Benrow commercials.

http://tvnz.co.nz/the-ad-show/ad-show-s1-e2-video-3381792

Now if you don’t have Freeview, you can also watch it on-line on TVNZ on Demand.

Sorted.

They’re blunt.

Often down right rude.

Radio copy writers on the other hand, well they normally display a lot more subtlety.

Normally…

You see, there are some words  we use that will cause the receptionists phone to spring into life with angry, emotional listeners.

You’ll get complaint calls from parents who don’t like what they’ve heard, community groups upset at your lack of subtlety… sales managers who are scared they might lose a client…

Fortunately, the BSA have made your job a lot easier by releasing a revised list of ‘what not to swear’.

Here’s the new additions to the list – just for interests sake…

1: Jesus fucking Christ.

2: Get fucked.

3: Fuck off.

4: Faggot.

5: Retard.

6: Slut.

7: Jesus.

8: Piss off.

Just quietly, I’m surprised by numbers 7 and 8…

So the first person to write an ad with the line – “Piss off Jesus” gets a prize.

You know… the dreaded undertaking that makes every writer tremble and recoil in horror.

That’s right, I’m talking about listening to the stations you write for!

Right.

So sit back down in your seat, put down your coffee mug, and please, continue reading.

You see, when you listen to those stations, you’ll start hearing some things that don’t quite fit.

That’s because New Zealand’s commercial stations are researched, programmed and imaged to within an inch of their lives. However,  the ads are not.

It doesn’t matter what the product is, if the sales team can legally market the product on the station, it’ll go to air. Meaning the chances are, you’ll hear a Morning After Pill commercial playing on The Rock or Hauraki, you’ll hear an ad for the NZ Game Fishing Champs on The Breeze or Coast…

And guess what? Odds on, the writer hasn’t even started to consider the listener in putting together the creative.

Remember – your clever, urbane commercial that you wrote for ZM will sound ridiculous (and not in a good way) on Coast. The listeners will simply be on a different wavelength.

So, it’s time you started writing station specific creative!

You know what I mean… an edgy ad for The Rock and… A family friendly version for MORE FM, or an informative, topical spot to play on Radio Live!

Doing this will not only add to the stations sound, but it’ll also win over the client (hey look – my writer actually thinks about what they’re doing) and it’ll have a much higher chance of winning over listeners!

And hey, an effective commercial is far more likely to be re-carted…

And sure, I know some of you take the ‘I write all my  ads straight down the middle’ approach. But remember, in doing so, you’d be committing the ultimate radio sin – mediocrity! And if you want to do that, please, go get a job in middle management. Preferably at an accounting firm.

Thanks in advance.

Me.

I honestly had no idea they’d sampled Rage Against the Machine in there!

Very cool, and another example of the magic that can be worked in the studio.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eU5Dn-WaElI&feature=player_embedded

bFM, RDU, Radio 1 etc have long had a reputation for producing commercials that push the boundaries, or simply take a different perspective on things.

And why is that?

Well to start with, commercial radio sees the client as king. Money keeps the reps driving BMW’s, the CEO’s upsizing their McDonalds combos and it keeps YOU in a job.

And when the client is king, their opinion is listened too. If they’re not happy, you’re out the door.

So often this leads to client centric ads voiced by clients, written by clients, profiling the clients staff etc. It’s safe, the clients like it and… well… the listeners simply turn off.

I was listening to a breakfast show in Christchurch today that features a well known TV entertainer, we’ll call him Gason Junn. Anyway, the ad breaks featured more client voiced commercials (from car yards to restaurants) than ads voiced by professional voices. It was ALL about the client, the listener came second.

I know it’s not the writers who choose the client to voice the ads. 99% of the time it’s at the reps suggestion… but man oh man, there’s just no innovation happening. We as an industry have given away all the power of creativity to people who pedal Japanese imports and ‘magic’ cleaning solutions.

Now on the other hand, student radio stations are often run by volunteers, and are largely funded by benevolent bodies like student unions. This leads to a school of thought that ‘the listener is king… clients are there to have some fun with’. If the client is a bit of a dick, or their product is boring – the writers will point it out!

You hear ads like:

Jim’s Shoes have cheap shoes!

(for your feet)

So if you need shoes…

(even if you like to have sex with shoes)

See Jim’s Shoes, they’re in sale mode right now!

(there’s a nice set of red pumps to rub all over yourself)

But you’ll need to hurry, as when the bargains are gone, they’re gone!

(a little like Jim’s libido)

Jim’s Shoes, the shoe store for shoe fanciers.

Now it’s fair to say that Jim’s Shoes (name made up to protect shoe fanciers everywhere) won’t be overly happy with the creative.

But the audience will blimmin’ well LOVE IT! They love the fact that people actually take the piss out of clients, and punters go as far as ringing up the station so they’ll play the ads on air again!

Now am I saying that all student radio ads are great. Far from it… there’s some real crap on there (not to be blunt or anything…). However there’s some gems of ideas that, with just a little polish or direction, could become absolute winners. This is probably why we see so many student radio writers and creative directors moving on to work at advertising agencies, while their commercial radio contemporaries end up at… well… the same job, earning the money they’ve always earned.

Sigh.

Oh yeah – and on student radio, you’ll never hear a client voicing an ad unless they’re hella funny, or willing for someone to take the piss out of them.

Or in other words, ego filled car dealers need not apply.

Thing is…

A poorly chosen sound effect can cripple a commercial.

I heard an ad a few months ago that started with…

“This is the sound effect of 8 Emperor Penguins in Tuxedo’s, sliding along an ice shelf”.

WTF?

Really?

I won’t even go into the completely self indulgent borrowed interest… The concept of using an indistinguishable sound effect was so poorly conceived that it completely hijacked the ad, making it useless for the client and confusing for the listener. Forget the inclusion of product relevance within the first five seconds (FFS) – this was simply a writers flight of fancy.

Unfortunately it wasn’t a particularly well thought out flight!

Heck I once talked to a writer who said she was always frustrated because she could ‘hear the sound effect’ in her head, but could never find it on a sound effects disc…

I didn’t ask if she heard voices in her head too… as I pretty much knew what her answer would be.

In a nutshell (help – I’m in a nutshell) there’s a golden rule here – if you need to introduce a sound effect, so listeners actually know what it is, then that effect doesn’t need to be in the ad.

Actually, scratch that…

It SHOULDN’T be in the ad!

It’s a radio critics take on ‘radio ads that make you want to scream stop’.

I found the comments about cliche inclusions / phrases to be quite interesting.

While some hate cliches, others think they work their butts off…

Take a read and let me know what you think!

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/the-radio-ads-that-make-you-want-to-scream-stop-1920875.html

Especially after a few wines at a survey party.

*Badoom-issssh*

Ahem… But anyway, it shouldn’t be tricky when it comes to separating the voice talent between radio commercials!

It’s actually not very hard, heck it’s not even remotely challenging. But so often while listening to the radio you hear the same talent in not one, not two, but four ads straight!

Sure, you can blame the lack of voice talent on the jocks and writers who work at your station, the number of clients demanding a particular voice – you might even blame the scheduler for not massaging the logs correctly…

However, the thing is, the whole process starts in the creative department.

It’s you who will choose the voice talent… and it’s you who has to enter their name into Airwaves / NexGen.

So the buck stops with YOU.

So many writers choose voices for their ads who they happen to be friends with / have a crush on etc. Meaning the number of voices they use will be limited. This in turn makes things harder (sometimes impossible) for the scheduler.

So why not try and get outside of your comfort zone a little!

Use an unexpected voice in an ad, an off-station talent, maybe try blooding a voice from around the station (who knows, the receptionist may sound GREAT with a little coaching) – even draft in local actors looking for work experience. Whatever you can do to enrich the flavour of voicing on your station will pay off in the long run.

Oh and remember guys – the talent description of ‘male’ or ‘female’ just doesn’t cut it!

Any ad that arrives into production with that description on the header should be sent straight back – no excuses!

Remember, listeners need to be able to separate commercials easily. And if they’re listening to the radio in the background and can’t differentiate where one ad ends – and the next ad starts… it’s a problem. So come on, start thinking about who you cast, carefully identify them in your system – and all will be well.

…well, maybe not – but it’ll be a start. 

If you find yourself with a ‘this month only’ offer based commercial to write, there’s one trap that a lot of people fall into.

Somewhere in the ad, they’ll say “For the month of October, get 25 percent off any heatpump installation” or similar.

The thing is, if the client wants to run the same offer 3 months down the track, you’ll need to alter the script and get the ad re-recorded for the sake of a few words.

So instead of saying:

‘For the month of October, get 25 percent off…”

… try

“This month, get 25 percent off”.

It’s a tiny point, but a re-cart can save you, the voice and production engineer a bit of time further down the track… and we’d all like a little more on our hands!

Sometimes, when you’re writing, it can be all too easy to get caught up in the art of creating something interesting – and in turn miss the opportunities to present a message in an effective manner. For instance…

When did you last REALLY listen to your ads?

And no, I don’t mean the last time you sat in the studio to direct or produce them. Nor do I mean the last time you were deleting e-mails at your desk and decided to take a quick listen through a set of headphones.

I mean REALLY listening to ads in a real world environment. Sure you can listen in while driving to work… but that’s typically a solitary experience in an isolated environment.

What I’m talking about is taking the opportunity to go into a workplace and listen to the radio amongst the hustle and bustle of other peoples lives.

This is where you get to hear ads that really pop, that stand out from the ‘clutter’… and those that, well, fail.

You also get to hear a few techniques that often (but not always) fall on their face in a real world listening environment.

For instance… Remember all that time you spent in the studio, working with the production engineer to get the right mix of sound effects and ambiance?

Well, a lot of it doesn’t work in the real world.

I know this is an odd thing to say, but…

If you think back to an ad you spent hours on to create superb theater of the mind? The commercial where the narrator is walking down a street, cars are driving past… and if you listen closely… yes, that does indeed sound like a modicum of bird call in the background… then… the narrator reaches a store, opens the door, walks through and then the door shuts behind him with a ‘click’, then the store buzzer sounds, signaling a different ambiance more suitable for the store. Heck, even the EQ on the narrators voice has changed to reflect this…

Well guess what.

Inside a busy business, or even in a car – you probably won’t consciously hear any of this.

It’ll be drowned out. After all, the radio won’t be playing overly loud in a work place, it’s essentially just there for background music. And even if the volume has been turned up, people are busy doing other things, and not paying attention to the finer points of your sound scape…

The same goes for your car. Wind noise, tyre noise and other distractions mean that listeners will often simply miss the subtle nuances all together… then factor in the odds of the listener owning a crappy stereo, or that they get poor reception… and things get a little depressing!

Another thing I’ve noticed is that the practice of panning sound left to right will often fall flat on its face.

A lot of stereo’s in public places haven’t been set up correctly. Heck, a lot of gyms will place the left speaker in one room, the right speaker in another room. In which case, any mix that isn’t straight down the middle (or mono) will sound bizarre. And with some ads… there’s a very real chance that people in one room will only hear half of the ad, whereas… well… you get the point.

As an aside note, this can be alleviated by a production engineer following the basic rules of panning 10 to 2, and when applicable, producing a mono-mix for AM stations.

Another trap, is the inclusion of bass lines in music and sound effects like small explosions or heart beats. When you factor in the compression put on the signal, with the general low’ish quality of a lot of radios – you may never hear the sound effects or the bass line at all! Which can leave some fairly odd gaps in the ad!

Mixing down a track so that it sounds great on all radios is an art form… if you or your production engineer are in doubt, leave it out… or get in touch with someone who can offer some help in this area.

Now, I’m not saying that putting time into your ads is a waste. Far from it! Heck, when you first bring your clients in to play them a campaign – you want to wow them… blow them away! And what better way to do it than pull out all the stops in the studio!

All I’m saying, is that our ads will be collectively a lot better if we take the opportunity to go out into the real world and take in the ads ‘through the ears’ of our listeners.

That way we can make more effective pieces of communication and in turn, get better results for our clients.